Not everyone needs to see a counsellor. Not everyone wants to. There seems to have been a bit of a celebrity fad in recent decades about the rich and famous having their own therapists or going into rehab every weekend. That's not to say that they don't suffer problems like the rest of us, but for the 9-5 people in the real world, seeking out professional help from a complete stranger can be very daunting.
The most
important piece of advice is the most obvious: go in and be completely
open. In truth it can take a couple of sessions to wear down
your own defences and open up. I found that after seeing NHS counsellors
to start with (absolutely fucking useless - though that may vary regionally)
actually helped me in a roundabout way as when it came to seeing a private counsellor (who was fantastic) I was
already much braver in opening up.
I do not exaggerate in the
slightest when I say that the private counsellor I happened to find locally saved my sanity, at least enough to go on
living and fighting my demons for a while longer. Sure, the NHS had crisis lines to call when I was feeling
suicidal and I suppose amongst the clock watchers and yawners there were one or two genuinely decent therapists and offers of CBT and the
like but it always felt like a box ticking exercise with them. The private counsellor I found and paid for gave a shit, to be blunt, and that's
not because I was paying some extortionate fee. £30 for an hour every
week and she was more than happy run over if needs be and listen to me vent and rage and fall to bits or sit there removed and detached and in silence - and never once lost her patience or got exasperated and most importantly I left every session feeling better, feeling like I had made progress.
To this day I feel sad that she's since retired but the techniques and ideas and explanations she went over with me are things I refer back to quite often, they've been so beneficial and at the same time so obvious, so simple. Maybe the best counsellors are the ones that just open our eyes a little bit.
If you do need to see a counsellor and you're not
having any success with the NHS or you're slightly sick of the 2 year waiting lists then you can look on here: http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/ and go private. Maybe try one or two
until you find one who can help you. It is sometimes difficult to judge
as the first session or two are generally getting to know each other and
giving a brief outline of your problems. £30 - £50 a week to some people
may be expensive. I would say save some money elsewhere if you can and it
might just save your life.
Have a look on the websites for details of
counsellors in your area and what they specialise in. Also don't forget
you don't necessarily need to see a counsellor in the first instance, and you
don't always need to pay to talk to someone. Open up to your immediate
friends and family first if they give you the opportunity or notice something is wrong, and of course if you are comfortable in doing so. You can also
find online support groups and so on.
But don't be daunted about seeing your own therapist or getting yourself some rehab. Away from the headlines they can be genuine lifesavers.
